Alone
by TooWeirdToLive-TooRareToDie
Summary: "The silver haired man was alone. Utterly and completely alone."


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The silver haired man was alone.

Utterly and completely alone.

He sat on top of the Hokage monument, looking out at the village. It was a beautiful sight, especially now because it was sunset. The man didn't enjoy the sight as much as he could have.

Kakashi didn't deserve happiness. He didn't deserve to enjoy companionship or even the sunset he was staring at. He was scum, trash of the ninja world and he knew that better than anyone, even Obito.

It was his fault Obito and Rin were dead, and he knew it. It was _his _idiocy and ridiculous rules that killed them.

_He killed them._

The man shut his visible eye and dropped his head a little. The pain of losing his friends incapacitated him for a moment, the feeling spreading from his heart to his whole body. It was a deep, empty, aching feeling that never seemed to fade from him, only getting more intense as more time passed.

Didn't they say time heals all?

Time healed nothing for Kakashi. He was still alone and broken from all those years ago.

He often contemplated finding an honest companion, a friend. He'd think no further than a friend, for he didn't deserve love in any form. At least with a friend there was no need for emotional commitment, not like with a partner.

With a partner, there's a new intimacy between the two. They're expected to share thoughts and feelings and experiences with one another. The man would be lying to himself if he denied he had the the yearning for that type of relationship, the one where he could truly open himself to them, let his fears and sadness and regrets and every horrible thing he's ever done out.

But he couldn't stand the thought of burdening others with his troubles. They were his to bear, and his alone.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

The voice surprised him. The Hero, otherwise known as Uzumaki Naruto or the soon to be Rokudaime Hokage(1), was addressing him as sensei still. It brought a small warmth to his heart; Naruto still saw him as a superior, someone he looked up to. The boy - man, now - was the whole reason they won the war, and he looked up to Kakashi? It seemed ridiculous.

"Naruto." Kakashi replied in monotone.

"What are you doing up here all alone?" The utter confusion was obvious in the nineteen year old's voice. "Why are you not with your friends?"

A bitter smile rose to the jounin's lips. His _friends _were dead. Sure, he had Gai and Kurenai and some people from Anbu, but Obito and Rin were the people he wanted to be with now.

"Why are you not with _your _friends, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi replied with, dodging the question. He watched Naruto sit next to himself, only about a foot away.

"I _am _with a friend, Kaka-sensei." His mouth twisted up in a sweet smile, a true one. His whole face brightened with it. "And you don't have to call me Hokage-sama; I'm still just the kid _you _had on team seven."

"That's nice to know you see me as a friend, Naruto." He paused, digesting what Naruto said. It wasn't true; he'd grown so much, yet somehow stayed the same, from his years in team seven. He _wasn't _that kid anymore, yet he uniquely still was. "I'm not your sensei anymore. I wasn't even a good sensei to you."

The last part slipped out.

"Like Hell! You helped me a lot, Kaka-sensei." He knocked into the older man slightly."You helped me make my ninja way, and without that, I would've given up long ago. The Rasen-Shuriken, too. Without you, I would have never perfected it! Oh, yeah, you recommended me to the council for the title of Hokage! You've done so much for me; you're an amazing sensei!"

_That's not true, but thank you, Naruto._

"You don't seem convinced. What's wrong?" His voice held something the silver haired man couldn't pinpoint.

_Dammit. _"I'm fine. What makes you think otherwise?" Kakashi turned to look at the blonde.

He was surprised to see him look... _concerned. _The boy's lips were pressed together in a frown and his eyes were tight. He looked away a few moments after Kakashi looked.

"After the war... I read the file on Obito Uchiha, and that led me to my father's team... including you." He sounded almost sheepish and scared.

Kakashi's jaw visibly clenched under mask. "You read about me. How far back?"

Looking down, he replied. "Your academy days."

"Ah."

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two for a few moments. Naruto felt extremely guilty, even though, as the Hokage, he could look at the histories of any of his nin. He felt as if he'd stepped a boundary by reading Kakashi's though.

The man was not particularly angry Naruto had read about him. He _was _the Hokage after all; he had every right to read it. It's the fact that he _did. _He wondered why he cared about him at all.

In an odd way, Kakashi looked up to Naruto. He was everything he wasn't, and everything he really desired to be. Unlike himself, he was a Hero. He was the Will of Fire personified and it was astonishing, yet not surprising, that Naruto even spent time looking at scum like Kakashi. How could he care

Naruto was generous, but was he _that _generous to waste his emotions on someone who let the people he love die? And die at his own hands. It wasn't-

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Yes, Hokage-sama?" He said as if nothing happened.

"Please, what's wrong? I'm not an idiot; I can tell when you lie."

"You think that, Naruto."

"I do. I know that you don't think of me as the kid on team seven anymore. I know that you hate yourself and blame yourself for all that Obito did in the war and for Rin's death. I know that you see yourself as _scum _when I tell you right now that you're far from it-"

"How am I not?" Kakashi's cool facade didn't shake, though his mind was scattered and frantic, trying to hide from the truth of the words. "I let the ones I care for die. Is that not the very definition of scum, of trash?"

"The difference is that you _care. _That you feel the pain of their loss." Naruto paused, turning to look at the masked man. "If you were truly trash, you'd be the same person you were when they died. You'd never look back on it, not regret it. You'd go on each day, same as you were that day. If you were truly the trash you assume you are, you wouldn't be feeling the pain you do, you wouldn't _feel _like trash."

Kakashi looked down, digesting each of the words slowly and carefully.

Naruto wasn't finished yet.

"Am I trash, Kakashi-sensei?"

"No. You were never and never will be." He said immediately.

"How? I let Neji die." He stopped and put his hand to his heart. "He died because of me, and that's Hell for me every day. And it was all because... because I believed he could change his destiny._" _His voice was thickening with tears, but also held a smile. "He died on his own terms, as he had wanted to. He died saving me; I owe my life to him. I owe my life to everyone here. I'm not the perfect hero you assume I am, Kakashi."

_Yes you are. _"Naruto, how are you not? Yo got yourself to Hokage despite the demon-"

"I didn't get myself here. You all did. _You _believed in me. _They _believed in me." He waved a hand out to the village. "You can't do everything by yourself, Kakashi. It's impossible."

The older gritted his teeth. "I like being alone." _At least I convince myself I'm better off that way.(__2)_

Naruto sighed. He stood up quickly, and turned to leave saying, "You're never truly alone. I'll always have a hand reaching for you; if you ever choose to take it is up to you." The blonde took a step.

He was stopped though.

Kakashi had reached out and grabbed Naruto's hand tightly. "I'm taking you up on that."

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**A/N**

**Reveiws ****make me smile.**

_Edit**: Okay, so I fixed the paragraphs and all. Thanks for the awesome reviews! 3 **_

1 - Rokudaime Hokage: Sixth Hokage

2 - It's a quote from 'House M.D'


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